The following tips can help you communicate with your IECC partner(s) ways that increase civility, dignity and the psychological sense of community.

• Always respond to those who send messages to you, even if you only have time to write a brief "thanks for the email" response.

• Try to use the name of the person to whom you are writing with frequency, as a sign you're your partner knows that you are writing to her or him in particular. It makes comments seem more personal.

• Try to use words and language that are familiar to your partner, as a sign that both of you are on equal footing. If you use language that is over their head or that is unfamiliar, it may make your partner feel "inadequate."

• Try to listen for and talk about common experiences you may share with your partner. This will help establish a common ground to connect you.

• Try to paraphrase the comments of my partners and to refer to things they said earlier. This helps your partner know that you are really listening to them.

• Try to ask your partner for their help, advice, opinion, or thoughts. These are signs that you respect something about your partner. It can signal to your partner that you took the time to think about them in particular as being able to contribute something valuable to you.

• Acknowledge the things that your partner said that were especially good, helpful or valuable in some way, as a signal that he or she is appreciated.

• Try occasionally to use the particular words or ideas that your partner used first (giving them credit for saying them of course) as a sign that they are truly making a difference. When you tell them that something they said made you think, then they know that you listened carefully enough to what they had to say to relate it to your own life.

• Try to name the emotions you are feeling as you read what your partner wrote. This can help them understand the immediate impact of what they had to say.

• Try to be open about your feelings with your email partner. When you are open it lets them trust you more and feel that you have a stronger link with each other.